Finding Suitable Artwork to Sell and Exhibit in a Modern Art Gallery (Satire)

I have arrived at a concise checklist after reviewing the work in many modern art galleries across the UK.

First of all you will need to advertise for could-be artists to submit their portfolios.

Next, with each portfolio you receive, you will need to go through this list in deciding whether to take on works from the artist.

If you can think of any other checklist items, please add them in the comments at the end of this post.

  • Could a child under the age of 3 create it with their eyes closed?
  • Is the artist famous/infamous or connected to a famous/infamous person?
  • Is the artist gay / bi-sexual?
  • Does the subject matter include penises?
  • Does the artist know another famous artist?
  • Is the artist from a developing country?
  • Has the artist ever been addicted to crack / heroin?
  • Is the artist terminally ill and almost dead?

Of course, some combinations are better than others, but if the answer is ‘YES’ to two or more of the above questions, then there’s no doubt about it: Take the so-called artist on, without hesitation, before another modern art gallery snaps them up!

Remember, we are now unfortunately in times where people buy modern art not for the art itself, but for the prestige of buying it, and the surrounding conversation.

This entry was posted in Art, Tutorials. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

3 Comments

  1. Parker Brown
    Posted June 6, 2008 at 22:37 | Permalink

    amen! But, some modern art does have some merit, like Takashi Murakami, his work is simply breathtaking in person. The craftsmanship and attention to detail is amazing, and his color choices are like pure eye candy!

  2. Posted June 6, 2008 at 23:51 | Permalink

    Oh yes I agree with that – there is merit in all creativity for certain. I simply object to the selection process employed by most contemporary modern art galleries.

  3. Parker Brown
    Posted June 7, 2008 at 03:59 | Permalink

    It is really random, isn’t it? Modern Art galleries choose based on the whim of fashion and controversy, rather than true taste.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>